I have been on a women’s fellowship for 4 weeks now. The fellowship was set up to target and overcome gender disparities within the start up eco system. It goes beyond teaching about start ups. Helping people learn about themselves - their values, self-saboteur behavior, and to gain new skills around networking, self-promotion and interview skills.

I recently entered a session where it really made me self-reflect on my day to day habits and patterns of thinking that are currently acting as barriers. In particular exploring how I sabotage myself. They sent us a quiz to complete about ourselves - which I naturally then also sent on to my friends. Some of it really hit home and made me reflect on what I need to change and let go of.

In a world constantly in flux, where change is the only constant, we need to find ways to welcome and embrace change. Change, or more so shredding is something we witness daily, weekly and seasonally within the taiao. However, something we as tangata are less inclined to do. We sit, fester and hold on tight to things that often don’t serve us.

I am a believer that we all have an innate need for renewal, growth, and evolution in our lives. Just as the flax plant sheds its worn leaves to make way for fresh shoots, we too must engage in the profound practice of self-reflection, shedding, and letting go.

So why do we want to get into the habit of letting go of, thought patterns, or attachments that no longer serve our highest good. Well by allowing them to fall away, we make space for the new and vibrant, for the tupu o te harakeke - the flourishing potential within us.

So what does this look like:

Embracing Growth: We need to shed old habits, beliefs, and attachments to allow for personal growth.

• Question: What are some habits or beliefs that no longer align with my growth and well-being?
• Action: Create a list of specific habits or beliefs you want to let go of. Begin by replacing one with a new, positive habit that supports your growth.

Renewing Perspectives: Self-reflection offers us the chance to examine our perspectives and beliefs, discerning which ones are serving our highest good and which may be holding us back. By letting go of limiting views, we open ourselves up to new possibilities.

• Question: What beliefs or perspectives have been holding me back from realizing my full potential?
• Action: Challenge one limiting belief or perspective each week. Seek out alternative viewpoints and explore how they might serve your highest good.

Releasing Emotional Baggage: Holding onto past hurts, regrets, and resentments can weigh us down, hindering our ability to move forward. Self-reflection allows us to acknowledge and release these burdens, creating space for emotional healing and growth.

• Question: What past experiences or emotions am I holding onto that no longer serve me?
• Action: Practice forgiveness, both towards yourself and others. Consider journaling to release and process these emotions.

Creating Clarity: Through introspection, we gain clarity about our true desires, values, and aspirations. This clarity helps us shed distractions and focus on what truly matters, guiding us towards a more purposeful and fulfilling life.

• Question: What truly matters to me in life? What are my core values and aspirations?
• Action: Create a vision board or a list of your core values. Use it as a guiding light when making decisions.

Adapting to Change: The world is constantly evolving, and so must we. Letting go of outdated patterns and beliefs enables us to adapt to new circumstances and embrace change with resilience and grace.

• Question: What outdated beliefs or behaviors are hindering my ability to adapt to new circumstances?
• Action: Engage in activities that challenge your comfort zone. This could be trying a new hobby, exploring a different perspective, or learning a new skill.

Embracing Unpredictability: Embracing unpredictability opens the door to a world of new experiences and perspectives. It encourages adaptability and a willingness to learn from the unexpected twists and turns of life.

• Question: How comfortable am I with uncertainty and unpredictability in life?
• Action: Engage in activities that challenge your need for control. This could be as simple as trying a new recipe without a strict plan or taking a spontaneous day trip to a new location. Embracing unpredictability fosters adaptability and a greater sense of freedom.

Cultivating Resilience: Just as the harakeke plant grows stronger after shedding the old, so do we become more resilient through the process of self-reflection and letting go. We learn to bounce back from challenges and setbacks with newfound strength and wisdom.

• Question: How can I reframe challenges as opportunities for growth and learning?
• Action: When faced with a setback, identify the lessons or opportunities for growth within it. Practice resilience by taking proactive steps towards a solution.

Honoring Self: Letting go of self-criticism and negative self-talk is an act of self-respect. Through self-reflection, we learn to treat ourselves with kindness and compassion, fostering a deeper sense of inner peace and acceptance.

• Question: What are some negative self-talk patterns I need to let go of?
• Action: Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations. Treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion you would offer a dear friend.