Living Aligned: Letting Go of What No Longer Serves

April 22, 2025By Jessica Grbic-Iuli

At the start of this year, I thought life would look different.

When I enrolled in full immersion reo Māori study, I believed I’d be preparing for a different season of my life. I thought I’d be in the process of welcoming a baby. But that hasn’t happened. And when it didn’t, I had to sit with a question that felt bigger than I expected: What now?

It would have been easy to stay where I was, to keep waiting for things to shift, to hold off on making any big decisions. But I’ve realized that waiting doesn’t always serve us. Life doesn’t pause just because one part of the picture hasn’t come together. And I had to ask myself—if I wasn’t going to move forward toward the life I actually wanted, then what was I doing?

So, I made a decision.

I left my government job. I committed to a year of full immersion reo Māori study (again) while growing my business full-time. It’s a huge shift—32 hours a week of study, 20 to 30 hours a week of work, and while it might seem overwhelming, I don’t feel stressed.

Because for the first time in a long time, I feel aligned.

Hauora Is More Than Just Balance—It’s Alignment

People talk about work-life balance as if it’s this perfect formula—spend an equal amount of time on each thing, and you’ll feel settled. But I’ve come to see that hauora isn’t about splitting time evenly across every area of life. It’s about being intentional with where I put my energy.

For me, stepping into full-time reo Māori study and running my business isn’t about balance—it’s about making decisions that align with what I truly value. It’s about making sure the things I invest my time and wairua into are the things that actually sustain me.

That’s why I don’t feel anxious.

Even though I don’t have everything financially lined up, even though this year is going to stretch me, I feel clear. I feel at peace. Because this path, even though it’s full, is one I’ve chosen for myself. And I know I’m not walking it alone.

Being Held By My People

I’ve been reflecting on why I don’t feel overwhelmed, why this transition feels different from others in the past. And I’ve realized - it’s because I have the right people around me.

My husband has had my back the whole way through. He could see how much my government job was weighing on me. He saw the stress, the way it drained me. And when I was wrestling with whether leaving was the right decision, he reminded me - we’re in this together. Every time I’ve had doubts, he’s been there to say, you’re on the right path. I don’t take that for granted.

My reo haerenga friends inspire and uplift me. They remind me why this journey matters. They push me when I need encouragement, remind me that this work—this commitment to our language—is bigger than me.

My mentors and wider networks keep me anchored. I have people in my life who offer guidance, who have walked similar paths and share their wisdom freely. I have friends who don’t let me spiral, who check in, who remind me that I’m capable.

I haven’t always had this. There was a time in my life when I didn’t feel held like this. When I had to carry a lot on my own. That’s why I don’t take it lightly—the fact that I’m surrounded by people who uplift me, believe in me, and remind me of my own strength when I forget.

And that got me thinking - who we surround ourselves with matters more than we realize.

The People Around You Shape You—Choose Them Wisely

In my early 20s, I wasn’t as intentional about who I kept close.

I stayed friends with people out of nostalgia. People who were fun but not necessarily safe. People I kept in my life because we had history, not because we had depth. And looking back, I can see that not everyone had my back the way I thought they did.

It’s taken years to find people who truly support me. And because of that, I’m now a lot more selective about who I let into my inner circle. About whose whakaaro I let shape my vision, my belief in myself.

Because the reality is, what we consume isn’t just food—it’s people, it’s energy, it’s kōrero.

And if I’m going to consume something daily, I want it to nourish me.

So now, I ask myself

Do the people around me uplift me, or do they drain me?
Are they speaking truth with aroha, or are they projecting their own fears onto me?
If they challenge me, is it coming from a place of care or control?
Are they showing up for me the way I show up for them?
Not every difficult relationship needs to be cut off, but I’ve learned to set boundaries.

Some people are worth having an honest kōrero with. Others? They’re better loved from a distance.

Because at the end of the day, we become the people we surround ourselves with.

And so I’ll ask you this:

Who do you have in your circle?
Are they nourishing you, or are they holding you back?
If they weren’t in your life, would you feel freer?

These are hard questions. But they’re necessary ones.

Choosing Alignment Over Fear

This year is going to be a big one for me. I’m committing to something that will challenge me. Learning a language at this level takes full commitment. Running a business takes energy and focus. But I don’t feel afraid.

Because I know I’m exactly where I need to be.

I’m making decisions that align with who I am, with what I value, with the kind of life I want to live. And I’m doing it knowing that I’m surrounded by people who believe in me.